Do They Know? Part Two

Do They Know?
by Lori James


Do they know how sick it feels to find out your child buys bottles of urine to pass their drug tests?

Do they know how upsetting to hear a parent talk about their child’s wonderful career and family, when your child is on probation AND parole?

Do they know they know what it feels like to look into their child’s eyes and realize that a monster is looking back at them, not their CHILD?  Because of the drugs.  It’s scary.

Do they know what it’s like to have your precious beautiful daughter show up at your door with splatters of blood all over her clothes and her long hair chopped off because she sold it for drugs?

Do they know how it feels to see their daughter’s child cry over her broken promises?  Or because she is mean to her mother who is raising him?

Do they know how it feels when their child who is prostituting and shooting heroine and cocaine asks them “Why don’t you ever tell me you’re proud of me?”

Do they know how it feels to not be able to spend time with their child without either seeing them nodding off or spouting horrible mean things such as “I can’t wait til you’re dead” at them because they are coming down from the drugs which makes them mean and hateful.  It hurts – A LOT

Do they know how it feels to not want your own child in your home because their hate towards you scares you?  Imagine being afraid of your child, who you gave birth to and had such big dreams for their lives to be wonderful.

Do they know how it feels to be asked “Have you tried talking to your daughter and reasoning with her?”. Of course I have, but addiction doesn’t understand reason….

Or “You need to make her get help”.  If only it was that easy

Or “What do you think caused her to be like this?”  Really, I have no idea!!  If I knew I would fix it if I could!

Or “Why aren’t you doing anything to help your daughter?”  Huh?  I have done everything humanly possible.  If she could have been fixed she’d be fixed by now.  I have no power over another person and therefore cannot fix them….  It sure wasn’t for lack of trying though.

Do they know what it feel like to be helpless to help your own child?

No…I don’t think they do.

I don’t think they ever will.

I hope you will never have to know what the mother of an addict feels like, because the mother of an addict is one of the strongest creatures alive…

Because they have no other choice.

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